Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Death by Peaches

Shane: Was it preventable?
Doctor F: No, I don't believe so. Her life was in her own hands.
Shane: So, what, exactly, was the cause of death, Doc?
Doctor F: Overexposure to Peaches.
Shane: *silence, as tears roll unwiped to his chin and throw themselves to the depths of despair*
Doctor F: It really isn't your fault.
Shane: I know. I had known about her addiction for a long time.
Doctor F: I had no idea. I didn't see the signs.
Shane: Yes, she had been addicted to canning and storing food for some time. I let it slide. It seemed innocent enough. I had no idea that it could... *shane tries to regain composure* that it could lead to this.
Doctor F: She probably didn't know either. I don't think anyone in their right mind would try to can so many peaches at once.
Shane: I don't think she was.
Doctor F: You don't think she was what?
Shane: In her right mind.
Doctor F: Oh. Yes. Probably not. But hindsight is 20/20.
Shane: *uncontrolled sobbing* What do I do now, Doctor? What do I do now?
Doctor F: Spread the word. Let everyone know. Put it on her blog. Tell the world. Teach them about the risks associated with peaches. Prevent others from making the same mistake. Prevent others' Death by Peaches. Save lives, Shane. Save lives.
Shane: No, I meant... What will I eat?
Doctor F: Peaches. Morning, noon, and night. You'll eat peaches.

Donations being accepted in the form of full or empty canning jars at the home of Trish Kobialka's survivors.

Darn those peaches. Darn them all to heck.

95 comments:

hope said...

No!!! Not death... BY PEACHES!!! How horrible!!! And I thought death by applesauce was the end!!! But peaches?!?! Who'd have thought?!?! We will miss you, oh brainless peach-canning girl.

Shane said...

Apparently, I am currently in the market for a new wife. Must love peaches, cleaning, cars, cleaning cars, and watching their husband play Xbox and watch tv.

Cassidy Anne said...

Ahahaha! That was hilarious! Just the laugh I needed before I go take an exam! Have a great day Trish, and keep the funny posts a coming =)

MommyRohner said...

I LOVE to read your blog in the morning. For some reason it always gets my day off on the right foot. THANK YOU for making me laugh.

And Shane... you'll NEVER find someone as wonderful as Trish. Don't bother... she doesn't exist.

Miki said...

Okay, you are irresistable!!! I just can't keep coming here and NOT COMMENT!

I'm fine at other sites....absolutely FINE, but here, you're just too irresistable to keep from commenting. HILARIOUS!

I'm private. I only allow friends and family I know onto my site. I found you when reading comments given to Emily over at Little Momma and Company. I ONLY let her, and Jennifer P. from The Peterson's go Public come and see my blog. Sheesh, you're just too fun.

http://littlemommaandcompany.blogspot.com/
http://theboysquad.blogspot.com/

These are their sites in case you have forgotten.

Anyway, my blog is not NEARLY as fun, but YOU'RE fun, and how can I leave a comment without letting you at least have a gander at mine? It wouldn't be fair, although I must admit, I RUN at the site of anyone being interested in me...RUN I SAY! I'm Forrest.

Anyway, if you want to take a gander at mine, let me know. I just can't keep enjoying yours and not share. Guily, I say, guilty I feel!

btw, you're the first bloggy stranger I've EVER commented on without having my friend Elena find you first. I tell ya, I'm shy.

Here's hers (we're very good friends), and no, she won't mind you peeking.

http://www.jaromandelena.com/

Oooh, now I'm afraid to leave this comment all of a sudden!

Oh HECKSFIRES, as my hubby would say, I'm doin' it! What can it hurt?

WishTrish said...

Thanks, everybody. I love you all right back. Well... Shane I will have to talk to... !

Miki! Welcome, welcome!! I am so glad that you put heckfires to the wayside and posted a comment. That just made my day!

I remember the comments at Emily's blog. I quasi- know her. We grew up in the same small town and she was 3 years younger than I. We share a lot of friends, but never really knew each other until THE BLOGS happened! Gotta love blog friends!

I checked out the other links you gave me as well. What fun gals you know and follow! Anyhow, I am glad you are here! You are too cute not to be!

Blugs ("blog hugs") to you!

Shanen said...

So are you done??? Did you finish?? And those darn quart jars, they are so hard to find right now. I was just in Fry's a couple of days ago and as I was making my way to check out, the lady had 7 cases on her pallat that she was putting on the shelf. Wahoo, I grabbed a few and went on my way. I now have enough for Apples. Yea me!!!

jana said...

Okay Trish,
I'm dying to know.. just how many peaches did you do?? :0)

Miki said...

Gee...."tanks"....for the "blugs"

....smiles....

Now I will feel not so guilty for watching away. At least you "semi" know who I am now.

With introductions over, I say...

Love.It.Thank.YOU!

If you ever want an invite, just let me know! You'll see a post I did based on a comment you left to Emily. I know, I'm already confessing to stealing an awesome idea from you (now your friends and family will wish you to stay away from me since I'm a stealer!) Your awesome comment went something like this:

Who are you? Stop.
I love your blog! Stop.

You went on and on just like that, and I just had to click over and see who this girl was!

I hope you come and see me, but beware of boredom! The fun parts are the comments, especially from my hubby...so take your time and do a little sneaking around in my comment section for a laugh or two if you dare!

Alrighty, best wishes in blog land, and just know I'm here reading away. Love it.

DEANNA said...

Ok... I, as I have told Shanen live on mars. Is there something I should know about the end of the world coming or something?

People think something is wrong with me when I stock-pile 20 boxes of cereal..... How many pounds of peaches did you can?

I just don't cut it in this neighborhood. Something says, "stranger danger over in that house" with a neon arrow pointing straight to my front door.

It is no wonder I never see you...... In my mind I imagine you sloshing your way around your downstairs stepping through piles of peaches, slipping slightly on a few pits here and there, carrying cases of canned peaches..... while Shane plays Xbox!!!

WishTrish said...

Hey, all!

I finished 3 boxes of peaches, and have one left that needs a little time... rather unripe, you know. BUT over the course of the last few days I have had 6 other women here learning to can peache slices, peach jam, and peach syrup bringing the total boxes canned up to (drum roll, please, Greg) 10 boxes, so far. One more to go, but when will I find the time?! Hmmm. Hope you are all coming to the gardening class tomorrow night at Nicole's, by the way...

Miki~ I am intrigued, for certain! Send me an invite. Stop. Love to make new friends. Stop. :)

Deanna~ I don't know what you are talking about! I don't know anybody that "cuts it" more than you! Love ya!

Crazymamaof6 said...

hilarious! i just made Peach Jam! it is JAM-tastic. and way faster than canning peaches.

Miki said...

LOL...You're so funny.

Okay, Sigh...get ready for a story. Don't swat that flyswatter too much at this pest!

I was SO excited to invite you, and went sprinting to my computer to do the deed, but of course, since you are the first one I've seeked out myself, I've discovered once again that I obviously have no idea what I'm doing. Yes, let my computer illiteracy shine through!

Since trying to invite you, I've realized that I think I need your email address. I would simply just ask you for your email address, but I refuse to ask anyone to do something for me that I wouldn't dare do myself!

Blogland scares me, and so I just refuse to put my email address anywhere! I urge all of my friends to be the same, but alas, they are "normal" and let themselves be seen.

So I'm going to devise a plan, and it will involve my best buddy Elena. She will laugh and laugh at my silliness, and shake her head, and sigh, and say, "Oh Miki".

Maybe now would just be a good time to slink away, sink into my chair, hide under my hat, but alas, my blunder is out there for the world to see. Since there's no hiding in here, I'll just have to click my heels and invite anyway.

Maybe the next time I do this, I'll be a smooth operator, and you can laugh as you remembered my first try with you!....that is, if I find someone I deem "invite worthy" as yourself!

We don't claim to be grammatically correct in here do we?

Okay, I'll be back...with big plans. The giving of email addresses will not be allowed! lol..

Oh man.....

WishTrish said...

My address is ALL OVER my blog. So I don't feel odd sticking it here... I can always remove it. :)

wishtrish@gmail.com

Now you don't have to run to Elena; you are completely independant! :0)

Miki said...

lol....okay,come see me.

Melanie said...

I can sooo relate! it feels good though when it is done. (I only found quart jars at Bashas' and Fry's, Walmart said....it is the end of the canning season so they don't have them anymore... what??!!, hey it just started!!!)
Hope you'll get them done soon. If you need another big pot you are welcome to borrow mine.

Jason Janice and Karissa Merrell said...

Hey Trish. Sounds like you have been up to lots of fun! I just froze all of mine. You just peel em and then put fruit fresh on them with a little bit of sugar and bag em up and freeze em. I did them in individual baggies so they are perfect to pull out one by one for my morning smoothie. I think I might even make through to Christmas :)

Elizabeth M Thompson said...

Gotta love all that fruit!

Courtney said...

So, how much did you do?

Givinya De Elba said...

That was so funny, especially "Darn those peaches. Darn them all to heck."

Jamie said...

Too funny! I love your sense of humor....Consider yourself followed by me!

Laurel said...

Hilarious. I was so coming over when I heard about the Cinnamon rolls on an earlier post, but as I am allergic to peaches, I might not be able to after all:)

K said...

Well, I guess if you gotta go...peaches aren't a bad way.

How many peaches did you try to can?

blueviolet said...

You probably even had peaches in your dreams, didn't you?

♥spoiled mommy♥ said...

Darn peaches. :)

Ronnica said...

Perfect. I love your style!

I'll be subscribing!

Thrifty and Chic Mom said...

Death by peaches huh I love peaches but after taaht many probably would change my mind.

Melinda said...

I love that your husband left a comment advertising for a new wife...too cute.

Was looking forward to teaching myself how to can this spring and summer...but now you have kind of scared me : )

Happy SITS day!

Mimi said...

My condolences to Shane. If he just can't bear to look at the peaches anymore, I'd be glad to take them off of his hands!

Happy SITS day!

KC Mom said...

Whew..I'm glad you didn't mean death by peaches not canned right! Can on dear sister...put your shoulder to the wheel.

HeatherY said...

You are so funny! Poor Shane. Hopefully someone has some canned goods to give to his cause.

Blue Castle said...

Hilarious.

Your writing is so fun to read. :)

Melissa Papaj Photography said...

Way more work than I am ready for. Hi from SITS!

Creative Junkie said...

Love your sense of humor!

I can think of a lot worse ways to go than by peaches!

Heather said...

Your sense of humor is the best!

Preston said...

Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches... who knew peaches could be so evil?

Jaden Paige said...

Death by peaches sounds almost like fun :)

You have a great sense of humor,I love your blog!

April said...

What a great read...love your sense of humor!

Debbie said...

I'm afraid if I ever started canning, this would be something like my eulogy... Thanks for the warning!

Casey's trio said...

Another great post! Enjoy your day in the spotlight.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Ha!

Death by peaches - how deliciously tragic.

wendy said...

Hahaha! We once got half a bushel of peaches so my mom and grandma made jam. We had TONS of it and, since it was their first time making it, they used the full amount of sugar...it was SO sweet!

Enjoy your happy SITS day!!

Kelly Deneen said...

Wow. Now this post makes me feel better about not doing any canning for myself. ;)

You are so funny!

Happy SITS day!!

BousMama said...

You are hilarious! I love it!

Happy SITS day!

BousMama said...

You are hilarious! I love it!

Happy SITS day!

Astrid said...

HA HA HA!

I could have written that post two years ago (okay...I'm not as clever at writing as you are! :))
I canned and canned and canned. I OD'd on canning which is why I only canned tomatoes, tomato sauce and applesauce last year....oh and black raspberry jelly...and I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I've also learned to freeze most of my produce.

jsprik said...

peaches, heh? at least you went out with a smile, right?? I LOVE ME SOME PEACHES ;) congrats on being SITS FB!!!

Wendy@RuensOnTheRun said...

Mmmm....Peaches!

Melodie said...

"Movin' to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches"

"Millions of peaches
Peaches for free
Millions of peaches
peaches for me"

Now I won't be able to get that song out of my head.

Blissful Babe said...

Oh so funny.

I love peaches.

Cristin said...

And I was worried my kids would get into drugs... now I have to worry about peaches!!!

Debbie Y. said...

I wouldn't be quilty of Death by Peaches, but my hubby and I certainly can a lot. We have peaches, pole beans, tomatoes, and squash. We also freeze corn, bell pepper, peas, etc. It can be a lot of fun, but my small little kitchen gets awfully hot when that pressure cooker "gets ta goin."

Happy SITS day again. I find your blog extremely hilarious!

Debbie Y. said...

"quilty," I meant "guilty!" Sheesh what a great first impression you have of me. Can't spell, type, and/or spellcheck, take your pick.

Michelle said...

Oh, I love it! And thanks for reminding me why I don't try to can. I know I'd go totally overboard :)

What A Card said...

Oh, your playlist totally needs that Presidents of the United States of America song about millions of peaches...

Happy SITS day!

Oh2122 said...

Ooooh. Peaches. I craved them hardcore when I was pregnant. In the dead of a New England winter.

You are a hoot!

Joy said...

First the Clabber Girl "incident" now a peaches debacle...when will it end?

Congrats on your SITS feature!

Karen said...

Mmmmmmm...you're making me hungry, darn you! :)

mrsbear said...

Sorry about your untimely demise. Happy SITS day though. Thanks for the giggles.

Kara said...

Found you on SITS, you are hysterical! I had this same, um, "medical condtion", last year. Dang peaches.

Karol said...

HOLY PEACHES. I'm so sorry for your lose Shane, sounds like you lost a good one. ;)

You are definitely a card!

Enjoy your fame today! *blugs* (I love it!)

Beth said...

Ah, see...I knew there was a very good reason I've not yet tried my hand at canning. No death by peaches (or cherries, or tomatoes, etc.) for us.

Seriously, though - I've always been scared I'd mess up the temp. or the sterilization and give us all botulism. It's best to not try anything too temperamental when you're a scatterbrained cook (I once made my grandmother's lovely chocolate cake recipe with an extra stick of butter - and didn't realize it until I found myself wondering why I had so much extra batter! Used a sheet pan instead - tasted yummy, though)

Sherrie said...

Happy SITS day to you! And -- I'm guessing you like peaches? LOL! Great style of writing...love it!

♥Reeni said...

Your very clever! SITS sent me and I'm so glad, I'll be coming back to read your witty posts! Loved it!

dddiva said...

Haha really enjoy your blog- so glad SITS featured you today.
I'm adding you to my blogroll, I have a feeling I'm going to love keeping up with you.

Lisa @ Serah's said...

One of my friends gave me peaches not too long ago...was she trying to kill me? haha

hellosweetworld said...

I haven't had peaches in so long. Happy SITS day!

Jen said...

hysterical!!!!! And what a good life lesson. ;)

Katie Stacey said...

I'm lucky enough to have a mother-in-law who cans my peaches for me. I was thinking of doing them myself next year. Maybe I'll have to reconsider :)

Karen said...

What a wonderful way to go...

Especially if they are topped with a scoop of icecream and a drizzle of chocolate...

Eudea-Mamia said...

Make it a peach pie, and I would happily drown!

Congrats on being Saucy!!!

I'll be back...

Em

Life by the Handful said...

Again, so creative! You really have a talent for thinking outside of the box.

Honey Mommy said...

I have a peach tree too, so I know exactly how this goes!

Carey said...

And just when I started telling myself "you need to can next year."

I guess friends don't let friends can!

Stesha said...

Um...you have my deepest sympathy, but did she by any chance leave some peaches around?

Jeanne said...

I've canned peaches before, but I've been wondering: is it possible to can pears? I always see them lying around on the ground and think what a shame it is that they're going to waste.

Tiffany said...

Man I love your blog. You are just so funny.

I've never canned before, but we did spend 3 years in St. George, UT, and there was all kinds of canning going down.

Momma Chae said...

LOVE this! The most entertaining thing I've read today. :) Thank you.

Mama Krit said...

What a way to go!

jubilee said...

Whew! For a minute there I though maybe Peaches was the name of a pet! Heeee heeeee.

I love peaches.

Ali said...

Well, if it can't be death by chocolate, then peaches will certainly do!

Jennifer said...

What a way to go.

A Mommy in Jeans and High Heels said...

hehe If I regret anything from my time at home with Mom and Grandma, it was not paying a darn bit of attention while they were canning. Oh how I miss canned apples in the winter. COME TEACH ME CANNING GIRL!! ;)

I hope you're having an awesome SITS day!

Michelle Sybert said...

ahahahaha (silence...catching my breath) ahahahahaha!

that was so funny!

death by peaches? maybe I will hold off on the canning experience I have always wanted to try (wink, wink)

BoufMom9 said...

Not sure which is funnier...your post or the fact that your husband left a comment looking for a new wife. LOL

Very funny!
I have a "problem" with canning tomatoes....

angie said...

Now I have that peaches song stuck in my head - if I had my little way, I'd eat peaches everyday...

Misadventurous Mommy said...

This post makes me really glad that I have no idea how to can anything! Very funny!

Lynn said...

Five years into this marriage and I have never gotten around to "jarring"/"canning"(?) My poor hubby...but I stumbled across a whole bunch of these glass mason jars in WalMart the other day and it got my gears going. "Jarring/Canning" here I COME! Did u put any recipes up? In not, then i'm sure epicurious.com would have some.
My best, Lynn
Good peach eats!

Auds at Barking Mad said...

This is something the husband of the woman who was Relief Society President, when I was a kid, could have written about her. I've never met anyone in my entire life who could spend days - no, WEEKS and MONTHS on end, canning. I'm really surprised she didn't try and can her own cat food! *lol*

I've tried canning once. Never again. I think I'm missing the canning gene or something.

Congrats on your SITS I found day. Glad I found you through that amazing site!

Michelle said...

You are funny! Gotta love those peaches though.

AJ said...

Now I want some peaches. Not to many though.

Emily said...

This is deliciously tragic.

Wait... someone already said that. I'm not as original as I thought.

This is... fare warning? :)

Judy Haley (coffeejitters) said...

giggle

Lynn said...

Death by peaches . . . very sad. Right now I'm wondering if I'll experience death by potato-cheese soup. The kind you make that ends up a huge vat of gluey-sticky stuff that you feel guilty about throwing in the trash so you eat it everyday for lunch until you think your organs are going to stick together :o

Ani said...

Trish! you're such a creative writer!!! I love it!! :-) hahaa this could be a mini play.

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