Shane: Was it preventable?
Doctor F: No, I don't believe so. Her life was in her own hands.
Shane: So, what, exactly, was the cause of death, Doc?
Doctor F: Overexposure to Peaches.
Shane: *silence, as tears roll unwiped to his chin and throw themselves to the depths of despair*
Doctor F: It really isn't your fault.
Shane: I know. I had known about her addiction for a long time.
Doctor F: I had no idea. I didn't see the signs.
Shane: Yes, she had been addicted to canning and storing food for some time. I let it slide. It seemed innocent enough. I had no idea that it could... *shane tries to regain composure* that it could lead to this.
Doctor F: She probably didn't know either. I don't think anyone in their right mind would try to can so many peaches at once.
Shane: I don't think she was.
Doctor F: You don't think she was what?
Shane: In her right mind.
Doctor F: Oh. Yes. Probably not. But hindsight is 20/20.
Shane: *uncontrolled sobbing* What do I do now, Doctor? What do I do now?
Doctor F: Spread the word. Let everyone know. Put it on her blog. Tell the world. Teach them about the risks associated with peaches. Prevent others from making the same mistake. Prevent others' Death by Peaches. Save lives, Shane. Save lives.
Shane: No, I meant... What will I eat?
Doctor F: Peaches. Morning, noon, and night. You'll eat peaches.
Donations being accepted in the form of full or empty canning jars at the home of Trish Kobialka's survivors.
Darn those peaches. Darn them all to heck.