Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Terribly alone.

Are you, or have you ever felt, terribly alone?  I am preparing a lesson for Sunday based on Jeffrey R. Holland's "None Were With Him" Easter message.  I could really use some input, so if you have a minute, and feel that you relate to this topic, please leave me a comment here or shoot me an email  at .  I could email everyone I know (and might) but, I felt that if I put this here, it would give an opportunity for anonymity, if desired, and also open comments to a wider audience.  I feel that everyone at one time or another has felt alone, whether because they truly were through death or divorce, or because the trials they were facing couldn't be yoked with anyone else.  Naturally, the direction of the lesson will be to Christ's example, but any and all input and experience is welcome.

My questions:
1. Have you ever felt that you were completely alone in a trying time?  Or that being alone was a trial?
2. What were the circumstances that made you feel alone?
3. Did you overcome your solitude?  If so, how?  If not, what is still weighing your heart?
4. Share your feelings, thoughts, ideas, inspiration, or things that comforted you.

I know this is a tough subject to speak about.  Log out of your blogger account and leave me anonymous comments, if you so desire.  Thanks in advance for any and all help on this subject.  I really appreciate it!


Declutter Your Life said...

Found you on SITS, love the post!

There was a point in high school where I dated a catholic and my parents and I fought the whole two years I dated him. I felt like I was alone because I could never talk to my family about my situation without a fight and I didn't feel like I could pray because I knew I wasn't making the correct choices in my life.

Finally, I decided to break up with this guy because I knew I shouldn't stay with someone who didn't help me keep my values. I was scared to do this because I felt like if I lost him, then I'd have no one. My brother wrote me a letter one day and talked about the atonement and how it's not just for sin and can help us with anything we're feeling. When I finally understood the atonement, and realized I was never alone,thanks to our savior,Jesus Christ, I was able to break up with my boyfriend. I then went to my parents and we began a friendship that is still very strong today.

Devri said...

I will get back here today... just skimming my morning run...

Gina @ The Shabby Chic Cottage said...

When my granddaughter passed away last year I felt soooo terribly alone. It was my step-daughter's baby, and my husband was in such despair, I had to spend my energy consoling him, yet I was greiving, too. It's odd when your family and sweet friends surround you that you can be so overwhelmed yet by too many people, but when no one understands where you are in life it is a scary place to be.

Since I do not get along with my husband's ex-wife and family, it was even more of a dividing line. It was almost like I wasn't supposed to be there, even though I was the only person who had ever had a seriously sick child before. The entire six months she was in the hospital no one would listen to what I had to say, casting me off to the side as a nusance. It was a very frustrating time that shattered our relationship between my husband and his children (more of their mother than anyone else).

I can remember at the funeral my best friends kept saying "Let me know if you need anything." I would honestly reply, "My house hasn't been truly clean in six months, I need help cleaning." (We spent all our spare time at the hospital two hours away.) No one offered to help. The day after the funeral my mom showed up at my door and began cleaning like crazy. It was at that moment, after six months of feeling completely alone, that I knew I was never alone the entire time. God watched out for me and my family. He sent my mom to remind me of that fact, which I realized when she was singing old hymns as she worked (as she always does).

Funny how God works. Sometimes when you least expect it, someone humming Amazing Grace can make everything right as rain. Although I miss Emma tremendously, I will always be grateful for those months I got to read to her, sing to her, rock her, hold her, love on her.

Cherie said...

I will email you later today...I have a lot of thoughts on this subject and comments about how I got through it and lessons learned....great friends always helped but my relationship with Chirst is what saved me and still does through all the different trials I still face!

Britt said...

Many of us have felt alone at one time or another. Our trials seem to heavy.
A turning point years ago for me was when I felt I was so alone, no awnsers or relief from the trial I was carrying. As I knelt to pray an awnser finally came to me to open my hymn book. I opened it and the Hymn 'Where can I turn for peace' was laying in my hands. Tears streamed down my face as I read the words of the hymn. I realized that know one can know my pain and heartache except the Savior. HE is the one I can turn to for peace and comfort. The words are beautiful in that hymn and continue to give my strength. That day I felt the Savior was speaking to me thru those words in the that hymn. We are not alone and he is there to give us solice when "other sources cease to makes us whole". He does "awnser quielty" as our Savior, friend, and elder brother.

MoodyMommy said...

What a great post!!! I loved the questions!!! Stopping in from SITS...

Kathie @ my net finds said...

Hi there, I'm stopping by from SITS.
There have been many times I have felt alone, but the one time that came to mind when I read your post is after the breakup with my fiancee years ago. We had lived together, planned a life together, went through some really times/trials that I don't want to go into on here. Afterwards, I was devastated and felt like no one really cared or took it seriously just because we weren't married. For me, it felt like a divorce. What got me through it was my faith because it seemed like every time I tried to reach out to a friend or family, I could never reach anyone... I would mentally tell myself "God is with me" over and over when I felt anxious. My faith isn't as strong today, but it got me through that very rough time when I felt so alone. I hope this helps!

Cherie said...

I have had some hard times in my life.
One really disturbing realization came to me very young - We come into this earth alone, and we leave this earth alone and I would say that we have to endure our trials alone.

We might have neighbors and friends who help and give kind words during a trial but ultimately it is something no one can get through for us.

That is a lonely thought for sure.
That is when you learn to rely on your Saviour and look outside yourself a little more.

It sounds like it will be a wonderful lesson. I hope you post some of the highlights :D

Shauna said...

Hope you have a super weekend!
♥ HUGS ♥

Sherrie said...

Doug's leaving for his 10 week internship on Monday. Four kids and a near wreck of a house later, I'm actually feeling ready for the daunting task ahead of me. I don't have any sage wisdom on lonliness, but I might in a few weeks.

Really though, I've probably been loneliest when I'm surrounded by people, and just don't feel like I'm connecting.

I've really felt strengthened lately by the basics, prayer, scripture study (love the conference issue!), family meals, hymns, FHE, temple attendance... I'm in a good place right now.

Jennifer P. said...

well--since I'm an open book on my blog--I think that it's ok to leave this non-anonymously. When my husband left, I felt soooo alone. There I was having lost my dad in my early childhood to an automobile accident, my mother to cancer in 2006, my favorite aunt when I was 10, and all my grandparents. And now, with my husband--my love, my eternal companion, my best friend, essentially 'abandoning' me too--I felt completely alone and rejected by God. I had tried all my days to serve Him and be like Him and wanted nothing more than to build a life that would glorify Him. I really struggled for a time and thought that if He wasn't going to take care of me, why should I continue to follow him? These thoughts left me just feeling sick inside. I couldn't let go of my faith. Where else would I go for answers? How could I deny what I knew to be true, and what had been proven to me over and over again?

I reached out then, and continue to do so, to a Father in Heaven who loves me more than I know and understands me perfectly. I let the Atonement make up the difference. It is such an amazing power to know that the Lord felt exactly what I'm feeling, and even HOW I'm feeling it. He would not have let these trials be put upon me if he didn't think I could handle them---and he was willing to show me how to do it.

Things aren't perfect now by any means, but I have been blessed with peace,patience, inspiration, and ability to go from day to day, and a joy that will sustain me for the rest of my days.

Miki said...

Oh these comments were so good. My thoughts turn to Abinidi. I don't know exactly why I just couldn't share this part of a talk I had prepared, but I chickened out. I thought it was just .... too much. But over and over again, this thought plagues me. It won't leave.

When I read about Abinidi, and how he was shackled, imprisoned, and how he knew that he was going into that city for the last time to prophesy against the people, that he knew he was going to seal up their fates and let their actions show that they were a condemned people, that if they would only repent...., at a time when he should have felt so alone, I don't think he was.

When the king heard what he had to say, and then condemned him to be burned at the stake I thought to myself several thoughts. I had never heard the story before. I hadn't been taught it by anyone.

One day, in Institute class, the teacher, Brother Pledger, started talking about Abinidi, and the moment he was being burned at the stake. He began to say that he had always imagined Abinidi burning, and condemning the people in a strong voice as he was burning.

I'm just wondering out loud....I wonder what he was saying.....just a minute.....

Okay...I'm back, and humbled. I just read all of that stuff again, and

I'm humbled.

Anyway, I was going to say that in my mind, I had imagined Abinidi not strongly condemning...but I had imagined him crying, literally, because he was so sad at the hardness of the heart of the king.

As Brother Pledger talked about what he had always imagined, that Abinidi was condemning the king and his people in a strong/harsh voice, I remember feeling bad about myself, that I had not read the scriptures correctly.

But then Brother Pledger said, "but for some reason, this time, when I read the words of Abinidi, I pictured him crying".

I was shocked. I couldn't believe that both of us thought the same thing, and were reading the same scriptures at the same time, me; who had never read them before, and Brother Pledger; who had read them many times before. I never told Brother Pledger about this.

What's my point? Even at that most horrific moment in Abinidi's life, when he should have felt the most alone, when his words were going to condemn everyone, instead of bring even one soul to repentence, when he was being burned alive; he was not alone, he was with the Holy Ghost. Heavenly Father didn't leave him in his most trying moment. Abinidi....even in his last breath was not concerned for himself, he was concerned for the people.

That story is just so sad....

I must mention that as I read it again today, I really am shocked at the similarities between Abinidi's passing and the Savior's. Three days passed, Abinidi knew that when he went into the city for this time, he was going to his death (and went anyway).

Babble babble to ponder. I'll stop doing it at your expense!

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